Well, THIS sucks …

We didn’t win the lottery AGAIN, which is crushing because PLANS — I was on a quest to revolutionize my wardrobe by way of that venerated institution, the Sundance catalog.   Please don’t sue me, Robert Redford, for naming names — I obviously can’t afford that since we STILL DIDN’T WIN THE LOTTERY.

It’s all so disappointing because my first new outfit as a gazillionaire was going to be killer, starting with the jeans, which are $108 and still have PIECES OF ACTUAL DENIM clinging to each other!  There’s a sweet top, a twee rumpled creation weighing less than an ounce and going for a very reasonable $198.  There’s a distressed-leather peacoat that looks fab with the little top — it’s only $548.  The shortie boots in the same shade as the jacket, complete with fringe and studs, are a must — they retail for $575.  To nail the look I’ll need the slouch bag for $368 and a cool nubbly belt at $120.  Then we get to the fun stuff — the jewelry.  Three necklaces, layered, at $1190, $3400, and $1300 respectively; eight stacked wrist cuffs totaling $4800; seven rings for $1603; and the earrings, $285.  And a perfectly darling may-or-may-not-keep-time watch for chump change of $98.  The surgery to add 10″ to my height is probably going to run into actual money.

So for just the debut ensemble, not counting height-enhancement because who knows, I’m looking at approximately $15,000 with shipping.  And realistically I couldn’t wear the outfit every day because it isn’t wedding and funeral appropriate, so it’s imperative that I buy out the catalog in its entirety, including the furniture.  My dreams are all-encompassing.

Way to ruin my life, Powerball.  Mr. Redford and I were going to be besties.

Plan B:  Snag this $98 vintage bandanna scarf and accessorize my overalls.

 

bandanna scarf

Image

14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trinity
    Jul 26, 2016 @ 10:55:53

    This was so funny! And don’t worry; Plan B is better than Plan A! Stick to it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Natalie Charlton
    Jul 26, 2016 @ 07:57:20

    Love this post, so light-hearted and identifiable. Can’t wait to read more of your posts Judy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. annalisanuttall
    Jul 25, 2016 @ 12:57:18

    Oh man, I want to win the lottery. A very humor post. x

    http://www.annanuttall.com

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. sensubhadrika
    Jul 25, 2016 @ 08:54:46

    Well, Lottery and i dont go hand in hand. I have even tried playing at those amusement game stalls but no luck (except perhaps a soft toy or two; which is a good compensation for money, at least for me )

    Like

    Reply

  5. Subhadrika Sen
    Jul 25, 2016 @ 08:53:37

    i have often tried to get something but alas lottery and me dont go hand in hand. I have even tried playing at those amusement gaming stalls. but still no luck except perhaps a soft toy or two. . (which isnt a bad compensation for money at least for me 😛 )

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Miss Snarky Pants
    Jun 13, 2015 @ 20:23:11

    Bwhaahaahaa! Send me your address and I’ll mail you a bandanna. Problem solved.

    P.S. Don’t wear overalls. Ever. Brigitte Bardot was the only woman who could carry off overalls, unless you count the chick from The Beverly Hillbillies…and I don’t. I’m personally allergic to overalls. I break out in hives as soon as the denim crawls above my waistline, accentuating the fact that I don’t have any waist to speak of. Overalls were a terrifying invention, up there with parachute pants and the electric chair. Of course you’re coveting $200 tees; you’re wearing overalls. You need a $200 tee shirt to make any-priced overalls even remotely palatable. Your problem isn’t not winning the lottery or your budget, it’s those f**king overalls. Wow, I sound angry. I may have some outstanding overalls issues. Love you, Judy. Very clever post, my friend! xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. Lori Mainiero
    Sep 30, 2014 @ 10:05:44

    Laughing so loud, co-workers are starting to stare! Sign me up for Plan B!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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