We didn’t win the lottery AGAIN, which is crushing because PLANS — I was on a quest to revolutionize my wardrobe by way of that venerated institution, the Sundance catalog. Please don’t sue me, Robert Redford, for naming names — I obviously can’t afford that since we STILL DIDN’T WIN THE LOTTERY.
It’s all so disappointing because my first new outfit as a gazillionaire was going to be killer, starting with the jeans, which are $108 and still have PIECES OF ACTUAL DENIM clinging to each other! There’s a sweet top, a twee rumpled creation weighing less than an ounce and going for a very reasonable $198. There’s a distressed-leather peacoat that looks fab with the little top — it’s only $548. The shortie boots in the same shade as the jacket, complete with fringe and studs, are a must — they retail for $575. To nail the look I’ll need the slouch bag for $368 and a cool nubbly belt at $120. Then we get to the fun stuff — the jewelry. Three necklaces, layered, at $1190, $3400, and $1300 respectively; eight stacked wrist cuffs totaling $4800; seven rings for $1603; and the earrings, $285. And a perfectly darling may-or-may-not-keep-time watch for chump change of $98. The surgery to add 10″ to my height is probably going to run into actual money.
So for just the debut ensemble, not counting height-enhancement because who knows, I’m looking at approximately $15,000 with shipping. And realistically I couldn’t wear the outfit every day because it isn’t wedding and funeral appropriate, so it’s imperative that I buy out the catalog in its entirety, including the furniture. My dreams are all-encompassing.
Way to ruin my life, Powerball. Mr. Redford and I were going to be besties.
Plan B: Snag this $98 vintage bandanna scarf and accessorize my overalls.
Playing for Time 
Jul 26, 2016 @ 10:55:53
This was so funny! And don’t worry; Plan B is better than Plan A! Stick to it! 🙂
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Jul 26, 2016 @ 17:20:35
I agree, Trinity, out of necessity if nothing else. 🙂
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Jul 26, 2016 @ 07:57:20
Love this post, so light-hearted and identifiable. Can’t wait to read more of your posts Judy.
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Jul 26, 2016 @ 17:20:00
Thank you so much, Natalie! So glad you enjoyed this one. There’s a little bit of everything here. 🙂
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Jul 25, 2016 @ 12:57:18
Oh man, I want to win the lottery. A very humor post. x
http://www.annanuttall.com
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Jul 25, 2016 @ 13:10:53
Thank you, glad you liked it!
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Jul 25, 2016 @ 08:54:46
Well, Lottery and i dont go hand in hand. I have even tried playing at those amusement game stalls but no luck (except perhaps a soft toy or two; which is a good compensation for money, at least for me )
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Jul 25, 2016 @ 08:53:37
i have often tried to get something but alas lottery and me dont go hand in hand. I have even tried playing at those amusement gaming stalls. but still no luck except perhaps a soft toy or two. . (which isnt a bad compensation for money at least for me 😛 )
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Jul 25, 2016 @ 09:03:40
It’s just a lark with us, but we have fun plotting what we might do if we won. 🙂
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Jun 13, 2015 @ 20:23:11
Bwhaahaahaa! Send me your address and I’ll mail you a bandanna. Problem solved.
P.S. Don’t wear overalls. Ever. Brigitte Bardot was the only woman who could carry off overalls, unless you count the chick from The Beverly Hillbillies…and I don’t. I’m personally allergic to overalls. I break out in hives as soon as the denim crawls above my waistline, accentuating the fact that I don’t have any waist to speak of. Overalls were a terrifying invention, up there with parachute pants and the electric chair. Of course you’re coveting $200 tees; you’re wearing overalls. You need a $200 tee shirt to make any-priced overalls even remotely palatable. Your problem isn’t not winning the lottery or your budget, it’s those f**king overalls. Wow, I sound angry. I may have some outstanding overalls issues. Love you, Judy. Very clever post, my friend! xoxo
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Jun 13, 2015 @ 20:56:49
Thank you and I love you and you’re freaking scary. Next time I get off the couch I’m going to scan my closet for any possible offending overalls, even though I distinctly remember surrendering my one remaining pair when we moved to civilization. We’re good … pretty sure.
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Jun 13, 2015 @ 21:00:40
Whew!
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Sep 30, 2014 @ 10:05:44
Laughing so loud, co-workers are starting to stare! Sign me up for Plan B!
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Sep 30, 2014 @ 10:14:53
Who knew I needed to tag this NSFW?! 😜 😎
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