so much hurt and pain
you have to walk away now
you can’t save the world
JSmith 01/28/2017
Three Things
25 Jan 2017 Leave a comment
It’s an eating-ice-cream-from-the-carton kind of HumpDay, even though I made a beautiful list this morning, in my best handwriting, fully intending to accomplish more than making the bed.
So far I’ve made the bed.
This is turning out to be a fibro day extraordinaire, plus social media is a swirl of innuendo and intrigue, bringing emotions to the fore and threatening friendships and family ties, things better dealt with in a less vulnerable state of mind. In truth there’s so little any of us can do to influence events, or even to order our own small worlds, it’s easy to get discouraged and walk away.
I’m pretty resigned, at this point, to the philosophy contained in the graphic up there – resigned but not discouraged.
Life teaches us that everything indeed changes. Buried in the fine print is the disclaimer that some things never return to us, and we don’t get out of here without knowing that, in there where we feel it. We’re abjectly powerless to stop change, so accepting that it simply IS is what we’ve got available to us.
From there it’s a short existential hop to knowing that everything is connected. Life doesn’t take place in a vacuum, so everything that happens affects something else, on into infinity. A lot of what happens out there in the world around us does not add up to a positive effect for our benefit. A lot of it hits us hard and keeps right on trucking. Which brings us to our final point:
PAY ATTENTION. It’s what keeps us out from under trucks and buses and the random despot, and if we’re too busy to pay attention the hits are not going to be kind to us.
For now I’m exhausted from the effort required simply to pay attention, so here’s the deal… I can only pay attention for myself, and I lack the energy and drive to help anyone construct a mental/spiritual house they’re comfortable living in, or to validate that construct by never doing anything that would cause them to examine it too closely. If things I write cause you to fidget and make faces, just remember that I can’t see you out there in the world, through some magic mirror that shows me and the TV audience your inner heart and thoughts – so it could just be your own reflection.
It’s almost 5pm now, so screw the list for yet another day, I’m moving in with Kimmers where the fire’s cozy and the vodka sours are cold. Happy Hour with sweetums is an effort I can get behind…
Do, please, stop talking…
24 Jan 2017 Leave a comment
after words fall flat
and lines are firmly assigned
hard silence bars all
JSmith 01/24/2016
So there…
22 Jan 2017 Leave a comment
There is no point explaining.
There is no point painting word pictures.
There is no point trying to bring two sides together who do not speak the same language.
There is no point attempting a mind-meld with someone who doesn’t see you.
There is no point in expecting that someday, somehow understanding will come, empathy will win, compassion will carry us forward.
There is no point in expecting
There is no point in
There is no point.
Perspective is everything…
17 Jan 2017 2 Comments
when the pain lets go
sun comes out the world looks new
all things possible
JSmith 01/17/2017
Fragile Blue Marble
16 Jan 2017 Leave a comment
let it be over
the questioning fear and loss
please let it end well
JSmith 01/16/2017
A winter playlist…
03 Jan 2017 2 Comments
gray winter days are
like a snuggie with some class
feel cozy look inviting
JSmith 01/03/2017
All beginnings matter…
01 Jan 2017 7 Comments
Okay, face to face with a new year, the 69th in a row, and contemplating my place in it, as you do.
There’s a built-in human affinity for new beginnings, fresh starts, do-overs. We know, if we’re lucky, what we want, and we hit it with our best shot, but we’re also embarrassingly aware of our weak follow-through.
There are things in my life I want to change, provided it doesn’t require too much effort, sacrifice, or consistency. I could be a healthier, nicer, more disciplined person, and finally ditch my heinous habit of procrastination, I know I could. And sincere effort will be expended toward those ends, but no promises, kids – I’ve been who I am for far longer than not, so we’ll see.
What a serious look at the past and present, and a trepidatious peek into the future, are telling me today is that a lot of things are within my power to change and influence but some aren’t. If I were to make a New Year’s vow to stop being honest, and stop writing and talking about the things life throws in front of me, I’d be lying from the get-go, so my “resolutions”are all from the do-able stack:
- Become an even better friend to myself and love my body like it’s the only one I’ve got.
- Keep loving and appreciating the people who make life beautiful, and make sure they know that.
- Find the truth in all things and settle for no less.
- Never let fear win.
- Never back down on what matters.
Fun having two New Year’s Days this year – more sanctioned hours to be bums, and also to gear up for the road ahead. Let’s all meet up next year, same time same place, and compare notes.
Playing for Time 
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