PEANUT BUTTER CHOCOLATE CHIP CREAM CHEESE COOKIES

chocroll

 

Yes, these exist, and they melt in the mouths of those who eat them, I have that on good authority.  They’re also fun to make, pretty to eat, and you can switch those two things around for entertainment.  Tell me this doesn’t look like your grandma’s kitchen when she was on crack.

Ingredients:

1 can seamless crescent rolls (or pinch together seams on a regular can, or make your own.)  {WHAT??}
8 oz cream cheese, room temperature
1/3 cup sugar
2 tsp vanilla
¾ C mixed peanut butter and chocolate chips

Directions:
Beat sugar, cream cheese and vanilla together until smooth and creamy.

Unroll the crescent roll sheet onto lightly floured surface. Stretch dough (you can use a rolling pin), then trim the edges for a nice rectangular shape. A pizza cutter is great for trimming edges of dough.  {I didn’t say that about the pizza cutter because what would I know?}

Spread the cream cheese mixture over top of the crescent sheet, leaving 1/2″ around the edge.
Sprinkle chips on cream cheese – press lightly to aid in rolling.
Roll the crescent sheet up tightly, from long side to opposite long side (helps to have four hands) and wrap in your favorite brand of clingy stuff.
Place in freezer for at least 2 hours. It won’t get really solid as the cream cheese mix won’t freeze hard.
When chilled preheat oven to 350°.

Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper (prevents sticking and helps in cleanup).  {Honestly, there are still phrases out there that make me want to go back to the kitchen, but so far the short-term memory thing is still kicking in on demand.}

Slice the crescent roll into 1/4″ slices. They won’t keep the precise round shape, but that is fine!  {You bet it is, because your mother isn’t standing over your shoulder anymore oh hi whoever’s mom, you are so lovely in that sweatshirt is that the color this year?  Jeez, who knew you could appear out of nowhere like that, somebody’s mom … or whoever?}

Look at the ghosts, living or dead, that haunt your creative-idea board, the ones that turn your Pinterest projects into panic attacks because they WILL.NOT.TURN.OUT.F*CKING.PERFECT.   AND.THE.WORLD.IS.NOT.FAIR.DAMMIT.  {Yes, that IS part of the original recipe, I’m frankly surprised you would ask.}

Bake on prepared cookie sheet for 12 -14 minutes until crescent roll appears golden brown.
Cool on the parchment paper or wire rack.

{I don’t know how many melty things this makes because I am not the cook.  Clearly a bit of attentive hands-on research would not be out of line.  I’ll get back to you … but please don’t bug me about it.}

Image

We need a recipe …

How about the easiest cookies ever?

Cookies 2013-04-10 at 03.23.54 PM

COOL WHIP COOKIES — EASIEST COOKIE EVER

1 box cake mix (any flavor- chocolate, red velvet, lemon, etc.), 1 tub Cool Whip (8 oz), 1 egg. Mix ingredients. Drop spoonfuls into powdered sugar to coat. Bake at 350 for 12 mins. Cool before removing.

Image

Cookie time!

It’s a snow day, lots of people are home.  Let’s bake cookies!

Strawberry Shortcake Cookies

Strawberry Shortcake Cookies
adapted from here
yield: 30 cookies

ingredients:
12 ounces strawberries, hulled and diced (2 cups)
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
zest of one lemon
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon sucanat or organic, whole sugar
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
6 Tbsp. cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
2/3 cup heavy cream
turbinado sugar, for sprinkling

instructions:
• preheat oven to 375*.  line two rimmed baking sheets with a silpat pad or parchment paper (dough is very wet).
• combine strawberries, lemon juice, lemon zest, and 2 tablespoons of sucanat. set aside.
• in a large bowl, whisk the whole wheat pastry flour, baking powder, salt, and 7 tablespoons of sucanat.
• cut the butter into small cubes and add to the flour mixture. using a pastry cutter, cut the butter into the dry ingredients until it resembles coarse meal.
• stir in the cream, using your hands, mix until the dough comes together.
• stir in the strawberry mixture.
• using a 1 1/2″ ice cream scooper, drop dough onto lined baking sheets.
• sprinkle with turbinado sugar.
• bake until golden brown, about 22-25 minutes.
• let cool completely on baking sheet before removing.
• these are best eaten the same day they are made.
note: you can shape dough and freeze, then bake as needed.

Image

Winnowing the Chaff

rarasaur

frightfully wondrous things happen here.

FranklyWrite

Practice Writing

Social Justice For All

Working towards global equity and equality

Drinking Tips for Teens

Creative humour, satire and other bad ideas by Ross Murray, an author living in the Eastern Townships of Quebec, Canada. Is it truth or fiction? Only his hairdresser knows for sure.

john pavlovitz

Stuff That Needs To Be Said

Drifting Through

Welcome to the inner workings of my mind

KenRobert.com

beginnings, middles, and ends

Margaret and Helen

Best Friends for Sixty Years and Counting...

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

Musings of a Penpusher

A Taurean suffering from cacoethes scribendi - an incurable itch to write.

Ned's Blog

Humor at the Speed of Life

Miss Snarky Pants

A Humor Blog For Horrible People

mylenesmusings

Every other asshole shares their opinions, why shouldn’t I?

%d bloggers like this: