Throwing it back on a Thursday …

The story of a poor abandoned farm girl, her pet chicken, and the endless Kansas sky.  You lose, Joad family.  You lose.

FarmGirl

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Monday, Monday …

Mondays carry a melancholy feel.  Why is that?  Even now, willfully unemployed, I’m sorry to see the weekend, well, END.  Because my friends head back to work for five whole days and I wouldn’t think of annoying them in the middle of all that.  And it’s likely some sort of latent psychosis — a Monday maladjustment.  Predictably, by Tuesday morning the psyche is once again in harmony with the turning of the earth, and the blue mood slips away.  Must.Make.Changes.  Adopting a new attitude about Mondays, starting in 4 … 3 … 2 …

 

Monday

 

minion-monday

 

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A note to my friends …

I’m woefully far behind on the important part of my blog — the part where I keep in touch with my WordPress friends.  I love “likes” — that makes perfect sense, right?  And your comments are wonderful — I do keep up with those.  But I have a long list of people in my email who have visited this blog and whom I want to visit in return.  And I will.  I’m far, far behind on my Reader — is there even such a thing as being “caught up?”  For now I just wanted to say a quick thank you for the wonderful things you write, the thoughtful ways you stay in touch with other WordPress bloggers, and for your patience.  Most definitely your patience!

ThankYou

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It’s not you, it’s me …

To what extent is your blog a place for your own self-expression and creativity vs. a site designed to attract readers? How do you balance that? If sticking to certain topics and types of posts meant your readership would triple, would you do it?

Well, to be honest … which is a good approach under most circumstances … my blog is for me.  Whatever load of creativity the DNA genie bestowed on me goes into my blog, my Facebook page, my house, and my erratically churning thought processes.

I love it when people come to my blog and comment on what they see there.  It’s lovely, it’s gratifying, it gives me warm gooshy feelings all over.  I even get off on seeing how many people have been here, whether they say anything or not.

But would I write for a select audience in opposition to, or to the exclusion of, what I really believe and feel?  I’d like to think I wouldn’t.  Attention is a jealous mistress who gets her hooks into us when we see ourselves as immune … but I’d hate to think I’d throw away the hodge-podge of experience I’ve accumulated and become a sell-out.

Or maybe that isn’t what it’s about at all.  Maybe it’s about finding and connecting with varied personality types and saying things they enjoy hearing.

If my readership tripled, I’m sure I’d be looking at what made that happen.  Meanwhile, I’m just trying to keep all the plates spinning … wife, mom, Facebook maven, blogger.  I swear to myself every week (don’t listen, please) to be better about keeping up with the other bloggers I follow, get right in there and rub elbows, talk about what is and what isn’t, leave thoughtful comments on their posts, build community …

But look at me.  I’m over a day late with this “daily” prompt.  I started it yesterday morning right after getting the message … and then the blog posts stacked up and the emails poured in and my Facebook peeps were having fun without me and my husband needed to talk, and an industry blog wanted a commitment, and the coffee was running out and I was running behind anditallgotkindacrazy and  …

No, clearly my blog is for me.  I need it.  My immediate world needs it.  There couldn’t be any cheaper therapy.  I’ll stick with what I love, and people are welcome – invited – to stop by and love it or leave it.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/daily-prompt-personal-space/

SaturYAY!

It’s interesting to realize that even for two people who are without adult supervision and making it up every day as they go, the weekends still have their own special rhythm.  Saturday mornings continue to hold the extra buzz of knowing the day is fully ours even before we open our eyes.  The other days too, but the unique freedom of the weekend is imprinted on our psyches after all our years in the work force.

Saturday in good weather is a day for taking the recycle bins to the drop-off station … working in the yard … watching televised sports.  But first comes The Breakfast – Kim’s unmatched rendition of eggs and hash browns, followed by a long soak in the hot-tub and nonstop free-wheeling conversation.

And then Sunday morning dawns. Sundays are full of music and books and walks, and all the conversation and laughter two people can share.   Sundays are about feeling safe and quiet and loved.  Sundays are so sweet that we find ourselves wanting to postpone Monday mornings!   Silly us …

Out of the loop …

I’m baaaaa-ack — didja’ miss me?  Just one of those times when life piles on and full attention is required elsewhere.  Changes get made, exhaustion takes its toll, adjustments are required, and life moves on.  Had a wonderful two days away with my sweetie-pie, and a few other perfectly fine distractions were enjoyed, and now you get my smiling face once again.  Hope all’s well in your world!

 

brand new day

 

 

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Ready for a change?

Reminding myself this morning of this basic truth …

Change

 

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When it is over …

When it is over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
~Mary Oliver

NEWS FLASH: Life is a learning process …

I find myself in a particularly reflective mood this morning — it’s one of those days when there simply isn’t enough coffee to wake me up before 10am, even though I’ve been walking and talking since 6:00.  The weekend was tremendously fun but tiring, and our 49ers lost by a mere three points yesterday — so close, and yet so far.  BUT … it’s really no biggie, and life obviously goes on!

In honor of the prevailing mood, I’ve decided to bring a post forward from my original blog, written in June of 2012.  I can say with satisfaction that I’m more me in the past few years than I’ve ever been.  The flip side, of course, is that there’s always a price to pay for change, sometimes heavier than expected, the operative question being, “Was it worth it?”

So … about that learning process …

If you live long enough, you learn a thing or two.  I’ve lived a while now and I’ve learned more than a few things I never really wanted to know.

I’ve learned that life is all about change … and that it abides by no rules written down by man … and that as much as I claim to like change, I sometimes don’t like it very much at all.

I’ve learned that people will astound you every day, for good or ill … and that a part of what is so astounding about people is their capacity for selfishness — it clearly knows no bounds.

I’ve learned that being a “good person” does not require me to accept any and all crap thrown my way … and that if I do NOT accept everything presented to me, I run the (perfectly acceptable) risk of being called a biotch.

I’ve learned that there are people whose code of ethics will not allow them to maintain a relationship with any except those who wholeheartedly agree with them … and that those people will cut you without so much as a backward glance.

Conversely, I’ve learned, to my great joy, that there are incredibly amazing people who possess the maturity, magnanimity, and genuine regard to “take the bad with the good” and keep on trucking along beside you through life.

I’ve learned that not everyone who snuggles up to you actually gives a fig about you or your life.  Sometimes they’re just nosy.  Sometimes they’re hoping your life has taken a bad turn since the last time they checked, and their day will go much more fabulously for knowing that.

I’ve learned that we humans have an infinite capacity and talent for justifying whatever behavior benefits us … and a singular blind spot when it comes to irony.

I’ve learned that “friend” is an entirely subjective noun and that people you had reason to think would be there forever can disappear in a heartbeat when the going gets tough … or the conversation takes a turn that challenges their neatly-arranged set of rules … or you simply decline to acquiesce to their take on life.

I’ve learned that life is far too short for people-pleasing … and far too long for the nasty taste it leaves in your mouth when you do it.

I’ve learned that the concept of “getting older” is fine in the abstract … but when it starts to manifest itself in the mirror, or in your bones, it becomes something patently unfair and sinister.

I’ve learned that the more you learn, the less you know … and the more you THINK you know, the more deluded you just might be.

Because … I’ve also learned that life can’t be placed in a neat little box and labeled.  It can’t be predicted … it’ll fool you every time.  It can’t be diagrammed or mapped out beforehand … and it will shock the pants off you as it unfolds.

I’ve learned that life IS.  Life happens.  It’s a gift to be celebrated and LIVED.

If I’ve learned nothing else for real, I’ve learned that I still have an awfully lot to learn …

Be Real

Already?

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