Playing for Time

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Good morning from the heartland. I’ve accidentally fallen off the blog wagon lately… so who’s still here and how’s it going?

It’s been a month since I last published a post and that’s crazy because every day during that time I’ve opened a blank page, sipped my coffee, and stared out the windows while words and thoughts played around in my brain cavity. Sadly, that’s ALL they did, though, so I’ve discarded several insipid drafts and stopped in the middle of a few others but saved them for the one sentence that may hold water sometime.

So… I’m still here and hoping for your peace and happiness today.

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Winter was disappointingly brief, although I realize as I speak that she could whip back around and bite us hard at any moment. It was 80° two days ago… what will THAT ultimately cost us? Nice, though, and we’ve already been haunting the balcony at every opportunity.

With my winter project basically finished, I’m at loose ends again. It’s always good in wild times to have something worthwhile to focus on because although that doesn’t change the situation, it does redirect our attention enough to filter some of the impact of what comes at us nonstop. Goals are good. They help keep anxiety at bay, herd my thoughts toward the positive, prevent existential loneliness from devouring me from the inside, ad infinitum. Better look for another project…

The daily realities of human existence are too ridiculous to be taken seriously… and too serious to ridicule. The maelstrom of emotions that accompanies every day’s load of happenings… it takes all we’ve got to stand up against its effects on us. And since we have no power over any of it the little things truly matter. A Monday morning bagel. A leisurely drive with time to rubberneck at all the progress around us. A just-for-the-hell-of-it Mickey D’s breakfast, shared at our table. Weekend breakfasts into infinity. All the Life-Is-Good vibe we can pack into a day because we do have a finite amount of time in which to do that.

And now we all see why I haven’t been writing… I don’t seem to have a whole lot to say. Except for this: You’ve helped me this morning and I thank you. Thoughts fill my head during every waking hour but by the time I get here to write they’ve faded like mist. Highly frustrating, but ya’ gotta get back on the horse at some point and ride, so instead of a cry morning this is feeling more like a git ‘er done day. Thx for muddling through it with me.

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To the cross-country sister of my heart who messaged me to say “I miss your blog posts” … thank you for saddling my horse for me.