happy stuff | Playing for Time

Queer-Eye for the Straight Girl

23 Sep 2014 24 Comments

Alex, I’ll take “PARTIES” for a hundred, please.

Here we go … Every woman’s response to “We’re having a party.”

Mashes the buzzer! … What is “I have nothing to wear?”

Casino Night is looming on the horizon, a dress-up affair at Abe & Jake’s Landing, significant because friends are hosting and it will potentially benefit other friends. I’m slated to give a speech but I have NOTHING TO WEAR so I’m not too pumped about the whole thing.

Enter my friends Adam and Seth, armed with knowledge from every episode of What Not to Wear, Project Runway, their own impeccable taste, et.al. A shopping date is set for the following week, beginning with a lunch of salad and wine. Thus fortified we hit the stores, fearless and ready to incite terror on both sides of the street. A saleswoman whispers to me early on, “These guys are making me nervous.”

THESE guys? You mean the ones who are giving you a break by zeroing in on a selection of flattering outfits from your store and thanking me for considering any and all options? The guys who are giving up their day to make sure I have a fabulous time shopping, so I can relax and enjoy a great night out with people I love? These two guys who have a gift for showing how much they care? Yeah, well. Get outta heah.

After a lifetime as a skinny-minny, a series of crushing blows caused me to almost disappear from grief anorexia. What followed was so much unexpected and over-the-top happiness that I starting packing on the pounds, neutralizing my shopping mojo. Because, you know … before I bought any more clothes I was definitely gonna lose the extra weight and be me again in the eyes of the world, never mind that in the meantime I’d turned into a better person than I was when I was a skinny biotch. Fortunately, my guys didn’t for a second consider letting me off the hook, and they rate massive kudos for changing my perspective.

We found the dress in the first shop we hit. And the jewelry. And a pair of skinny black pants and a silky top. AND another dress that was on sale for a stupidly low price, nabbed after Seth stood me sideways in front of the 3-way mirror and told me with a sweep of his arm to “Concentrate on this great rack!” then cupped my ass in his hands and crowed “Just look at these two amazing Christmas hams!” We heard a gasp from the sales clerk, followed by “Can he SAY that?” Yes, yes he can. Love and respect buy immunity.

In the second shop the guys found a pair of not-Mom-jeans and a top from the sale rack that we couldn’t believe no one had snapped up. My confidence was increasing by the hour and I was into my Happy Dance. Another store or four, a purchase here and there, and we realized it was almost 7pm. Tired and hungry, we crossed the street for drinks, appetizers, and a review of the game plan. Adam placed a Zappos shoe order on his phone and just like that I had everything I needed for the big party. Oh yeah, the party! I’d sort of lost sight of the original mission because the party was already ON.

I’ve dropped a few pounds in the weeks since, but I may or may not ever be skeletal again. My friends clearly do not care and I don’t either. The bonus is that Kim has never really minded one way or another — the angst was mine alone and was overdue for a kick to the curb. We live in a university town where the options for enjoyment are nearly endless — who wants to worry over chunks of dessert, impromptu foodgasms on somebody’s balcony, late-night drinks at sidewalk cafes, or breakfast twice in one day? Worry is for chumps.

Seth put shiny stuff in my hair, I wore the dress and rocked the speech, we gambled for a worthy cause, we danced, we laughed, we ate good food and toasted each other with great wine, and the tumblers in my brain spun and lined up. The obvious is true — I’m not a number on the scale, I’m not my dress size, I’m that girl who loves life, qualifiers be damned. When’s the next party?

1) Casino Night … 2) the Christmas Ham dress with my favorite date … and 3) my newlywed personal shoppers, Seth and Adam …

Image by Judy Smith

Fall … it’s in the air!

08 Sep 2014 6 Comments

Image by Judy Smith

The care and feeding of The Madison …

09 Jul 2014 3 Comments

by Judy Smith in My Thoughts, Photos Tags: be real, beauty, brave, do good, family, friendship, happy stuff, living, Photos, relationships

This is the story of a boy and his dog. And a young man and his dog. And an old girl and “her” dog. Turns out they’re all the same dog — a Maltese named Madison — and she’s led a fairly incredible life so far. Her first story was happy … until it wasn’t. The boy loved her, but his girlfriend didn’t, so while he was away working nobody took care of tiny Madison. The young man took her in then and loved her and provided for her, and they were a good team. But his life got really busy and Madison was spending a lot of hours alone. SOOOO … the old girl talked him into letting the little peanut come stay at her house, at least for a while. That’s love in its purest form, people, and Kim and I don’t take lightly the sacrifice he’s making for the sake of her health and well-being.

Miss Maddie will be ten years old in October, but she still looks like a puppy and remembers how to act like one. She was coughing and gagging every day, and seemed listless, so on a hunch we changed her food and treats to brands that don’t contain wheat. Thanks to a tip from a certified dog person, we also eliminated chicken. The respiratory symptoms are going away, she’s sleeping fewer daytime hours, and she’s started initiating rambunctious play again and bringing us her dapper little green dinosaur so we can wrestle it away from her and throw it across the room. She’s good as gold about potty habits, and she sleeps all night without disruption. If left on her own she wakes up about 8am, just like I do. Perfect!

Madison adores Kim, but she’s chosen me as her Person, which fills me with gratitude and gooey slurpy love. Even when she has old-lady breath — which we’re also working on — I can’t get enough of her. She goes with us on all the little errands that don’t require taking her into NO DOGS areas (the nerve!), and she’s a calm and entertaining passenger. When we instead tell her “Maddie has to stay this time,” she looks at us with her big black eyes and takes it with good grace. She doesn’t chew on things, or get up to shenanigans, and we never have a second thought about leaving her to roam the loft while we’re out. She’s a little lady. Her joy when we get home is something we didn’t know we were missing … and would have a hard time giving up now.

She’s an instant conversation-starter and makes friends all over town. Jeez, to be so popular! She still gets to go to The Farm to see her black Lab friend Mia and the three kittens, James, Red Molly, and Elsa … and her Big Guy when he’s there. But it’s clear she isn’t really a farm girl, with her alabaster fur coat and frilly tail — she’s a princess and we’re happy to let her be exactly that, especially since she doesn’t have an attitude. It’s a happy arrangement … except possibly for the Big Guy, who misses her when he’s home at night.

Maddie makes us laugh, and she brings out a tender grandparent-y thing in both of us that feels just right at this stage of our lives. Thank you, Kevin, for having such a good heart — we love you. And Madison will always belong to you, no matter where she might live out her days.

Staying in the swim …

27 May 2014 Leave a comment

by Judy Smith in Graphics that Grab Me, My Thoughts Tags: be real, beauty, brave, challenges, happy stuff, inspiration, learning, life, living, loving, relationships

We’ve recently changed up our exercise routine because Kim needs to rest his ankle and shoulder, so he’s off the racquetball court and I’m out of Aqua Zumba for now. Instead we’re swimming laps in the early mornings. Our spring/summer schedule filled up when we weren’t paying attention, so the earlier start every day has been a good thing, and Kim’s owies are starting to like the new regimen.

One of my last class sessions was something I’m glad I didn’t miss — you can’t prepare for serendipities, you just have to be lucky enough to notice all the little nudges that take you through your days in style.

Okay, I need to tell you that when John was just out of college and starting his first career, he got involved with an organization that provided a social life for developmentally-challenged young adults. His stories were funny and endearing, and it was clear right away that he had a gift for what he was doing. He eventually went on to exchange his design career for one as an oncology RN, and he’s not only really good at that, his tenderness for his first clients has stayed with me.

So there was a morning a while back when I’d almost skipped Zumba class … again. But hey, I showed up. I was in the water warming up when the door opened and a young guy with killer abs walked in, followed by several men of mostly indeterminate age and clearly working under challenges of various sorts. Nice Ab Guy asked if this was Zumba class and I said yes. He asked the instructor if it would be okay for them to work out with us and she said of course! So he helped the other guys tighten their waistband drawstrings, finessed ear and nose plugs, and coaxed them into the shallow end of the pool. They were none too sure about the whole thing, but their shy smiles were to die for. The eldest had scars over his back and arms that looked like severe burn damage and I prayed that some inferior human creature hadn’t hurt him on purpose.

The music cranked up, loud as always, and the new guys, with encouragement from a dozen or more mamas, got into it. Ab Man was born to dance, and obviously to help people who need him. The sweet guy with the burn scars was so sincere and earnest about trying to keep up with the moves, I had to put my face in the water to camo the tears. One young guy spent his time looking around, blowing bubbles, and making the water splash big. He may have had the best time of anyone. Every glance at one of us asked “Is this okay? Can I do this?” When class ended we all told them to be sure and come back, but that didn’t happen before I dropped out. I hope they remember their time with us as one of the really good days.

I’m lazy and whiny and it’s almost second nature for me to pick the easy way if there is one. Those guys’ lives are hard in ways I’ll never experience, but they keep going and they’re as stoic as anyone I’ve ever seen. I hope the people they encounter will be unfailingly kind to them and that even though they’ve been burned by life they’ll never lose those shy sweet smiles and their willingness to be and do and keep on giving. I have no right to even ask that … but there’s so much they can teach the rest of us and we need them.

It’s Make-It-Up-As-You-Go Thursday!

22 May 2014 2 Comments

by Judy Smith in My Thoughts Tags: brave, celebrations, family, happiness, happy stuff, life, living, loving, weather

What a fun day so far. Kim and I swam laps at 7:30, came home for coffee and breakfast, soaked in the spa tub, and then on his suggestion we rode our bikes over to his barbershop on Mass St. and I got my hair cut. There are two long-time shops side by side, owned by one family, and they’re the real deal. The only change from the good ol’ days is that now there are women barbers alongside the men, one of whom welcomed me into her chair and gave me exactly the cut I wanted. I could have gotten it for only $6 plus tip since I’m of the senior persuasion, but it seemed cheap and cheeky to mention it, so I paid the going rate of $10. You cannot beat that, try as you might. Ten minutes in the chair, happy talk every second, and I’m on my way. Next to me a young dad was getting his head shaved for the summer, followed by his little clone doing the same. The two long-haired daughters giggled uncontrollably when I asked if they were having all their hair cut off as well. One said, “No! Girls don’t NEED haircuts!” Sadly, I am no longer a girl.

We went two doors down for raspberry lemonade smoothies before riding a few more blocks to the salon so Mama could get a pedi. With my shiny new watermelon toes we circled around to the optometrist’s office to schedule an appointment, then home. Everything is an explosion of green, and the flowers and bushes are going crazy.

And now we’re waiting for it to rain, hopefully soon.

Tonight we’ll meet friends across the street at Pachamama’s to listen to jazz. On the patio if it’s dry, indoors if it’s raining. Clearly it needs to rain NOW rather than later.

Have a safe and happy Memorial Weekend! And may all the right parts be rain free. Speaking of “free,” there’s a reason …

Every once in a while, time stands still …

21 May 2014 Leave a comment

by Judy Smith in My Thoughts Tags: babies, beauty, brave, family, happy stuff, learning, life

Sometimes I love people beyond words. There’s a tiny girl in our neighborhood who is learning to walk. Every day now we see her out with her dad or mom, pushing a little Fisher-Price cart, slowly making her way down the sidewalk. This morning I was on the balcony dead-heading flowers and here she came with her mama. They waited ’til the coast was clear, then headed across the street our direction. About the time they reached the mid-point, a police car approached from the east and stopped well short of the intersection … and waited … and waited … and then when Little Miss had safely reached the curb the car rolled ever so slowly up the street. Nobody hurried her, not a shred of impatience was displayed down there on that ordinarily busy street. Something very important was taking place and everything else could wait. You rock, Lawrence, Kansas, you really do.

Come on in, the water’s fine!

28 Feb 2014 8 Comments

by Judy Smith in My Thoughts Tags: be real, brave, exercise, friendship, happy stuff, life, living, relationships

They say — and just who the hell ARE they? — that we learn something new every day if we keep our eyes and ears open. This week I learned that it’s possible to sweat underwater.

I’ve fallen in love with the pool. Not the great pee-filled paradise of my youth, but a glittering expanse of cuddly clear blue water, marked off in lanes. I am distinctly not an exercise lover but the pool has captured my heart. I love the muted sounds and the clean saltwater smell; the silky feel of the water as I slip in for laps; the sunlight shining through the ceiling panels making fog hang in the air; the way I feel wrapped in cotton, alone in my head, nothing in front of me except the lane and the goal — to stay afloat. And when class starts, I love the adorable instructors who crank the music and urge us to jump and kick and stretch and wriggle our cellulite, which they do not possess.

I love the women I meet there. Many are likely older than I am, although who knows. Some are far younger — new moms. It’s a delightful bunch because they’re honest and irreverent and hilarious. There’s a crankypants or two in class but I have to assume they’ve cultivated that for a while and aren’t likely to switch attitudes, so I leave them to their grumbling and their mad-faces and hang out with Jo and Barb and Andrea and Roxy and Pat and Sandy and assorted others who are just there to have a good time and keep moving. All of us by now have sustained losses that have shaped us. We don’t talk about it, we just know. And of course we don’t discuss body shape, because we all have parts that are surrendering to gravity, legs that are melting into our ankles, wear and tear that dictates what we can and cannot do.

We’re a motley crew — we roll out of bed and show up at the gym, grab a shower, suit up and start swimming. A lot of these gals have not only never invested in a Brazilian, they haven’t shaved their underarms since the Cold War — a very genuine and healthy practice, in my humble opinion. We wear our baby-bellies like a freakin’ badge of honor, although to be honest mine’s become a too-many-carbs belly, which is what brought me to the pool. We give it our best shot to keep up with the zero-body-fat instructor who’s winning a dance contest poolside or in the water with us every morning, and we grin and laugh and hoot when we finally find our rhythm.

In the water … nothing hurts much. There’s no temperamental low back, no rickety shoulder, and the 7 Purple Minions of Fibromyalgia are in time out. There are enough sore muscles later to let me know I used them, but that’s a good hurt and I welcome it. It’s highly motivating that women in their 70s and 80s show up for personal torture day after day, and do it with a smile. Surely I can manage at least that. I do hope it will be a longterm relationship, the pool and I. And I really hope carbs melt in saltwater.

The view from here …

09 Feb 2014 2 Comments

Watching this year’s Winter Olympics has been a unique experience for me. It fully dawned this time that rather than a contest among nations, it’s hundreds of contests between worthy opponents who have spent most of their lives preparing for the moments in which we see them. Geographically speaking, the point is not which country won which medals, but which athletes earned the title of Best. I find that I see so much more if my eyes aren’t trained solely on the American athlete in the race. It’s very moving to see how each entrant has trained his or her body — every muscle, joint, and cell — to do the chosen feat. It’s poetry. And when the color and design of a flag take a back seat to individual effort, the games emerge as what they are: an incredible sampling of humanity, a dazzling parade of young faces, bodies, and spirits — people who will never again be quite this young and beautiful and perfect, but are just wise and reckless enough to squeeze the life out of Life as they streak past. God bless the world.

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Happy 2014 to all my friends!

01 Jan 2014 Leave a comment

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Salted Caramel Brownies

21 Nov 2013 Leave a comment

On gray days my thoughts turn to wine and chocolate. Here’s something for the chocolate half of that equation.

• Salted Pretzel Caramel Brownies •

Ingredients

• 1 box Betty Crocker fudge brownies (for 9×13 pan)
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 c. water
• 2/3 c. vegetable oil
• 3 cups pretzels
• 1 jar caramel sauce
• coarse sea salt

Directions

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a 9×13-inch baking pan with parchment paper, or grease with cooking spray.

• Prepare brownie batter according to package instructions.

• Pour about 1/3 of the brownie batter into the prepared baking pan. Spread until the bottom of the pan is evenly coated. Then add two even layers of pretzels, covering the entire surface. Carefully spoon the remaining brownie batter on top to cover the pretzels.

• Bake for 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of the brownies comes out clean. Remove and set on a cooling rack to cool.

• Spoon the caramel sauce onto the top of the brownies in an even layer. (If it is too thick, spoon the sauce into a small bowl first and microwave for 30 seconds to thin.) Sprinkle the caramel with a few pinches of sea salt.

• Serve warm, or let cool to room temperature then serve.

Image by Judy Smith

Metamorphosis …

06 Nov 2013 6 Comments

by Judy Smith in My Thoughts, Photos Tags: be real, brave, happy stuff, life, living, memories, Photos

A move to a new city seems like an opportune time for personal reinvention. Case in point, I’m tired of paying big money to have chemicals plastered on my head, so I’ve decided to go gray. Oddly enough, I’m really excited about it! I found a cute sharp-as-a-dart hairdresser here who totally gets it, and we’re having a good time taking me from roots to reality. My hair is uber short, which is liberating in itself, and after my haircut next week I just might be completely white/gray/salt-and-pepper. I take a sort of goofy pride in staying sassy, and my life has been an exercise in “hair today, gone tomorrow.”

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Helloooooo ???

30 Aug 2013 13 Comments

by Judy Smith in My Thoughts Tags: About Me, be real, blogging, happiness, happy stuff, life, living, plans, writing

A note to all of my Word Press friends:

I MISS you!! My summer started in Stress mode and is ending in Omigosh, Life is So Good mode. I’ve hardly written a thing all summer and my spirit is drying up on the inside of me. Must get back to solitude and expression SOON. Bottom line, friends … we are in the process of moving. Not only moving but downscaling by 2,000 sq. ft. It’s something we want with all our hearts … but a bit challenging. As long as you’re having fun everything’s fine, right?

The move will be completed soon and I’ll be back to tell you all about it. Can’t wait!

The blooms of summer …

22 Jun 2013 Leave a comment

My farm grandma grew all of these same flowers and put them in Mason jars filled with well water … exactly this way. My throat is choked with memories this morning …

Image by Judy Smith

Today is Father’s Day …

16 Jun 2013 2 Comments

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No big deal!

24 May 2013 2 Comments

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Playing for Time

Queer-Eye for the Straight Girl

Fall … it’s in the air!

The care and feeding of The Madison …

Staying in the swim …

It’s Make-It-Up-As-You-Go Thursday!

Every once in a while, time stands still …

Come on in, the water’s fine!

The view from here …

Happy 2014 to all my friends!

Salted Caramel Brownies

Metamorphosis …

Helloooooo ???

The blooms of summer …

Today is Father’s Day …

No big deal!

Judy Smith

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Follow Blog via Email

ALL the stuff …

Top Posts & Pages

These people know better but they read my blog anyway.

Join the conversation …

Categories

Were you looking for …

I choose favorites …

The Nitty-Gritty

COPYRIGHT

Winnowing the Chaff

Search My Site