So you know who isn’t a suck-up?
09 May 2013 3 Comments
in My Thoughts Tags: be real, life, people
… my husband. Never was, never will be. He had the advantage of growing up in southern California, which is to western Kansas what the Met is to the Grand Ol’ Opry. No aspersions being cast, just different scenarios. Out there they had no idea who their next-door neighbors were and that’s exactly the way everybody wanted it.
Kim’s been good for me in ways that would be difficult to delineate, but let me just say that no self-doubt or suck-up-ish-ness is encouraged in any way. We are two blue dots in a vast sea of red. No problem. In some ways we’re hippy holdovers in redneck country. No problem. When all the world is looking for something new and exciting to do, we’d much rather be home together. No problem whatsoever!
He recently left a job (for the preservation of his health) where he apparently didn’t please a single person except for most of the patrons he fed during the run of the stage shows. And even some of those … it is, after all, the heartland, where you could put a plate of roadkill in front of most people and they’ll tell you it’s just fine, thanks. That’s not what they say to their table mates and neighbors, of course, but what can you do — it’s the freaking heartland. He’s held management positions most of his life and this is the first one in which he was not allowed to manage. He’s a man brimming with ideas. Ways to make things run more efficiently. Ways to make the experience better for the ticket-holders. Never mind, it’s the freaking “we’ve never done it that way before” heartland! Easy to come off as the world’s biggest A-hole if you try to change anything here.
Despite the unfortunate fallout created by the clash of two diametrically-opposed worlds, however, he remains unrepentant and unscathed. And that’s just the way we like it. He gives me the courage every day to get up and be myself. And I like to think I give him a reason every day to be the best A-hole he can possibly be. It’s a formula that’s worked for us for over nine years. As the cliche’ goes, if it ain’t broke …
So, are you a people-pleaser?
09 May 2013 6 Comments
in Graphics that Grab Me, My Thoughts Tags: be real, Facebook, family, learning, life, living, marriage, politics, relationships
Were you raised on a farm? In a tiny town? A metro area, but within a tight-knit neighborhood where people knew your business before you did? Then you’re already on the same page with me. If none of that fits you, I’m not sure I have enough words to explain it to you.
I was raised on a farm close to a tiny town that was one tight-knit neighborhood, and those people definitely knew my business. All of it – some of which I never knew happened until I heard about it second-hand.
I’m sure it’ll shock you to know I grew up a people-pleaser from about Day One. I wasn’t necessarily a Good Girl, but it was wildly important to me that people think I was — all those relatives and townspeople who were older than I, and whose lives I knew nothing about. What a revelation when I grew up, left home, and started hearing the stories about THEM … of course, by then it was too late.
There’s also the unfortunate fact that a certain amount of suck-up-ish-ness seems to be genetically transmitted. There were kids in school who couldn’t possibly have cared any less what some classmate or adult thought of them and the things they did. It was “Get outta my way, I’m on a roll here.” My guess is most of them ended up in politics.
I wanted to please my parents, my grandparents, my Sunday school teachers, my school teachers, I wanted to somehow please God, none of which is a bad thing. But who was I? I got married at 22 and was at least 50 before I stopped trying to make every word out of my mouth, every desire of my heart, every dream line up with what I thought my husband wanted.
After a few years of getting to know myself and realizing that I could trust my own thoughts, I met and married a man who also trusts my brain and loves every inch of me as is. I mean it when I say it’s fun to be me.
Meanwhile, a bunch of years stacked up and now my driver’s license claims I’m 65, which is beyond ridiculous. I don’t want to be old, so I’m not. But I do love the freedom of not having to care whether or not people approve of who I am. Tact is a valuable commodity and I don’t set out to antagonize anyone, but neither do I censor my convictions. My ideas and beliefs are as legitimate as the next person’s. It took me a lifetime to get here and I’m not going back.
I recently reduced my Facebook friends list from far too many to still almost too much. Those who remain are either family or are there for every other possible reason. They’ll stay or go, as they decide. The me you see is the me I am, end of story.
Daily Prompt: Key Takeaway
07 May 2013 4 Comments
in Daily Prompt, My Thoughts Tags: advice, be real, blogging, learning, life, reading, writing
Give your newer sisters and brothers-in-WordPress one piece of advice based on your experiences blogging.
My advice can be distilled into one sentence: Make your blog a priority.
Write something every day, whether or not you decide to publish it. Hang around the Community Pool (http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/community-pool-12/) in order to pick up new ideas and benefit from the experience of others. Exercise your curiosity. Ask questions. Stretch your wings creatively and always be willing to learn something new, add a new element to your blog site, change it up, keep it fresh. Make friends in the WordPress community — there are thousands of people here and you will surely connect with at least a percentage of them. If your early attempts at blogging do not meet with success, either in your own estimation or as reflected by a lack of following, don’t give up easily. Try changing your focus, seek input from friends and fellow bloggers, gain knowledge and understanding through reading the selections on Freshly Pressed and elsewhere around the site. Blogging is a highly satisfying endeavor and it’s worth staying with until things start to click!
The first step in blogging is not writing them but reading them. ~Jeff Jarvis
A quick P.S. … Your phone is an excellent resource for note-taking on the run. Jot down every idea that pops into your head because I can pretty much guarantee it won’t be there later when you try to recall what it was. I use the Voice Memo feature on my iPhone when I’m walking — works really well.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/daily-prompt-key-takeaway/
Daily Prompt: Evasive Action
06 May 2013 4 Comments
in Daily Prompt, My Thoughts Tags: be real, celebrations, happiness, happy stuff, life, living, plans
What’s the most significant secret you’ve ever kept? Did the truth ever come out?
A fabulous secret has been mine to keep for the past several years, and the truth will finally be known to all concerned very soon. If you’re ever just bursting to share something, but don’t want it to be public knowledge yet — or ever — feel free to tell me — I can most definitely keep a secret. I like good news secrets best, but I’ve also been the holder of sad secrets, scary secrets, slightly dangerous secrets, and run-of-the-mill secrets. The real secret to a secret is that whatever it entails it’s the sole property of its owner and, therefore, sacred. And one special perk of being a secret-holder is that when its owner says “Go,” you have the privilege of spilling the beans to everyone … or to a hand-picked few. Watch this space …
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/daily-prompt-secrets/
My Toemail post …
05 May 2013 Leave a comment
in Miscellaneous, Re-blogging Tags: be real, happy stuff, life, living, Photos
This is such a fun site — check them out!
Daily Prompt: The Glass
05 May 2013 2 Comments
in Daily Prompt, My Thoughts Tags: be real, brave, challenge, inspiration, life, living
Is the glass half full or half empty?
My glass is nearly always half full, at the very least. And if it’s half empty, that can only mean that I at some point gleefully helped myself to the top half. Life is very clearly there to be lived! Why else would it go on and on for most of us? I talk with cautious people every day who are afraid to risk anything, and their lives make me feel sad and frustrated. There are things I’m physically unable to take on, but the world inside my head is full of excitement and challenge and change! Balls to the wall, boys and girls — make a difference!
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/daily-prompt-the-glass/
Get over it …
03 May 2013 4 Comments
“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.”
― Criss Jami,
In Every Inch In Every Mile
It’s not you, it’s me …
02 May 2013 2 Comments
in Daily Prompt, My Thoughts Tags: be real, blogging, Facebook, family, learning, life, plans, time, writing
To what extent is your blog a place for your own self-expression and creativity vs. a site designed to attract readers? How do you balance that? If sticking to certain topics and types of posts meant your readership would triple, would you do it?
Well, to be honest … which is a good approach under most circumstances … my blog is for me. Whatever load of creativity the DNA genie bestowed on me goes into my blog, my Facebook page, my house, and my erratically churning thought processes.
I love it when people come to my blog and comment on what they see there. It’s lovely, it’s gratifying, it gives me warm gooshy feelings all over. I even get off on seeing how many people have been here, whether they say anything or not.
But would I write for a select audience in opposition to, or to the exclusion of, what I really believe and feel? I’d like to think I wouldn’t. Attention is a jealous mistress who gets her hooks into us when we see ourselves as immune … but I’d hate to think I’d throw away the hodge-podge of experience I’ve accumulated and become a sell-out.
Or maybe that isn’t what it’s about at all. Maybe it’s about finding and connecting with varied personality types and saying things they enjoy hearing.
If my readership tripled, I’m sure I’d be looking at what made that happen. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to keep all the plates spinning … wife, mom, Facebook maven, blogger. I swear to myself every week (don’t listen, please) to be better about keeping up with the other bloggers I follow, get right in there and rub elbows, talk about what is and what isn’t, leave thoughtful comments on their posts, build community …
But look at me. I’m over a day late with this “daily” prompt. I started it yesterday morning right after getting the message … and then the blog posts stacked up and the emails poured in and my Facebook peeps were having fun without me and my husband needed to talk, and an industry blog wanted a commitment, and the coffee was running out and I was running behind anditallgotkindacrazy and …
No, clearly my blog is for me. I need it. My immediate world needs it. There couldn’t be any cheaper therapy. I’ll stick with what I love, and people are welcome – invited – to stop by and love it or leave it.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/daily-prompt-personal-space/
Grateful for “the helpers” …
29 Apr 2013 Leave a comment
Perfect morning for a walk — it wasn’t very exercise-y, but the mild temps and light breeze made strolling, stopping for a sit on most of the benches along the way, looking at the geese in the meadow and turtles in the ponds, and talking, talking, talking an exercise in true happiness. My steady-as-a-rock-through-anything husband listened to the litany of blues that have buried me since yesterday … lent perspective as only he can do … made me throw back my head and laugh … and as always, the light changed, even just a little. Thank you, babe.
And this was at the top of my Facebook news feed when I sat down in my office …
Playing for Time 
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