Catharsis is not pretty…

18-heart-breaking

Dammit, life in the end is a cruel mysterious bitch because it’s so beautiful and so brief. I stand in the shower and cry wracking sobs that leave my ribs sore because we’re getting into our 70’s now and some of my most brilliant friends are falling to Alzheimer’s and I can’t make it stop and IT’S NOT FAIR. And I’m wrapped in a towel with my hair dripping water and running down with the tears and I’m trying to find words that mean anything at all when the world is ending and I’m mad as hell and nothing’s right anywhere except… a precious beautiful man loves my son and maybe I can stop crying in a little while… maybe… because when life seems like it has to end right this minute so we won’t die from the ache… there’s something so good we’d be really… pissed if we missed it.

And then we’re crying… softly now… from the grace and the sweetness and the peace and the yin and the yang.

The balance is always there if we can let the quiet find us…

… so pain is such a mixed bag that we don’t really dare wish it to be gone forever. That’s a much-needed revelation this morning and I’m glad for it.

Have a beautiful spring Sunday, friends. Because life is good. So good.

 

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ozantm
    May 06, 2018 @ 10:45:13

    Judy, I imagine most of your friends are artistically inclined. One thing to help them in their passage with Alzheimers/Dementia is to help them relive those wonderful times they had with music or theatre. I saw a great video about an Alzheimer treatment facility that used headsets playing each individuals favorite music and letting them just go with the flow. Helps put them in what is their perceived moment.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Judy Smith
      May 06, 2018 @ 14:41:13

      That’s an excellent idea that I can recommend to their caregivers. Unfortunately, I’m separated from most of them by distance, but there are ways to connect through technology and I thank you for the reminder. ❤️

      Like

      Reply

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