What is this “feminism” you speak of?

If you say feminism is every woman having the built-in right to be herself, we’re already on the same page.  If you think it’s women hating on and disrespecting men, we need to tawk.  I’ve been a card-carrying evolving feminist for years now, do I hate men?  Oh HELL no.  I married Kim because he is OTHER, la différence exquise … the exquisite difference.  My SON is a man.  I’ve been rubbing shoulders with male-types all my life — I LOVE me some MEN!

First online definition I see says this:  feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

End of story.

But now there are crazy little women telling me and others that if we’re feminists there are things we can’t do or like or believe.  That’s messed up, are you kidding me?  In light of spousal and girlfriendal abuse by ‘roided-up football players, I’m being slut-shamed into surrendering my Femme Card for following pro football.  I AM NOT ASHAMED!  Plus who needs a label?

I love watching PGA tournaments — I didn’t boycott when Tiger Woods’s shenanigans hit the tabloids.  Okay, he did exceptionally skunky stuff, but the guy didn’t have a childhood, or a junior-high-hood, or a high-school-hood, let him suffer in peace.

I like soccer, and baseball, and tennis.  And college basketball.  And most Olympic sports.  And BOXING — so sue me!

SPORTS.  It’s all a dance, often lyrically beautiful.  A never-ending Greek Tragedy on the human condition.  Conflict neatly and efficiently resolved, not always without bloodshed.  It’s hope and ego and the wonder of homo sapiens.  Determination, conditioning, passion, winning and losing, risk to life and limb.  Ugly attitudes, joyful celebrations, friends and enemies.  It’s life boiled down, in every match-up.

There are scum-sucking cowards in all of existence, so why discard the theatre-of-the-psyche that is Sports?  Each athlete has been trained by life, the good and the bad, the heroes and the zeroes.  Humans.  Cheap therapy in every direction, and the popcorn’s free.

I don’t for a flat second pardon the criminal stupidity of any competitor, anywhere, or that the NFL has skirted the IRS since 1966 .  But I’m not closing my heart to all the people who work hard for the money, sometimes ’til they die, and stay honorable.  Also CUDDLING.  Kim, a natural athlete, makes any sports event — except cage fighting, I lose my SHIT over that — more interesting because he KNOWS stuff.  A lot of it.  It’s fun and cozy to snuggle up with him, iPad at my side, and watch whatever’s on.  There’s always food and good wine, and a little fluff ball curled up in the warmth.

Keeping my card, MFs*.  Don’t take it too hard.

*Militant Feminists




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