The Thankfulness Season
04 Nov 2014 7 Comments
So we made it past the Halloween shenanigans, and now the fast train that was 2014 is bearing down on Thanksgiving and Christmas when hearts overflow and gratitude gets top billing for a few short weeks.
In the spirit of the season I’m asking myself, Self, what are you most grateful for? I always like to get a second opinion on weighty matters so I asked my husband, too. He suggested that maybe I’m thankful I don’t live in my car or under a bridge, or that I eat good food at a table every day instead of from a dumpster. He may or may not have mentioned the clean water that flows on demand from every tap in the house, but it would be just like him to do that. I’m pretty freaking thankful for all those things, sure, and a comprehensive list of my personal benedictions wouldn’t have any place to end.
But I knew we had a winner when he said, “Well, you should be thankful you aren’t any shorter than you are.” For a hot second I felt pissed, not grateful, but I’m a realist and I’ve seen the pictures — I’m clearly not as height-intensive as some people out there.
After a careful examination of the evidence, however, I feel I’ve been mislabeled — It isn’t that I’m short, he simply overachieved in height-training, much as in everything else he does. And just like that, we have a perfectly legit place to start on this being thankful thing. I’ve GOT this. The Big Turkey and the Elf on a Shelf (I detest that li’l sumbish) are putting stars next to my name as we speak.
Moonbeam and Othello say hey and peace out …
No pumpkin-carving experience is complete without a near-fatal knife wound
27 Oct 2014 Leave a comment
in Humor, Manic Mondays, Re-blogging, Seasons Tags: holidays, humor
A timely post from Ned. Ray Villafane, eat your heart out.
Carving a jack-o-lantern used to require little more than a pumpkin, an oversized kitchen knife, and a tourniquet. It was a simple matter of plunging a 10-inch French knife into the gourd of your choice and creating a triangle-eyed, square-toothed masterpiece of horror.
In those days, the trickiest thing about making your jack-o-lantern was deciding on how to light the candle.
Option one: Light candle, then attempt to lower it into the pumpkin without catching your sleeve on fire.
Option two: Put the candle inside the pumpkin first. Then attempt to light it without catching your sleeve on fire.
Option three: Accept the inevitable and just light yourself on fire, then go find a candle.
After a quick trip to the emergency room for stitches and some light skin grafting, you could return home and set your jack-o-lantern on the porch, where it would remain until gravity and molecular breakdown…
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Rawrrrr …
02 Mar 2014 Leave a comment
March has come in like a lion … will it scamper away like a lamb? Spring is out there somewhere, babies, long experience says so.
The blooms of summer …
22 Jun 2013 Leave a comment
My farm grandma grew all of these same flowers and put them in Mason jars filled with well water … exactly this way. My throat is choked with memories this morning …
Playing for Time 
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