This is SO for the birds!

It’s an established truth that no good deed goes unpunished.  We didn’t know until this spring that there’s a gap across the top of our balcony wall.  The birds knew, however, oh, yes they did.  They were already well into their nest-building project before we noticed, so of course we chose to be kind.  And they were just the sweetest, flying back and forth to the trees across the street, bringing raw materials for their new home.

The babies hatched a while back and it’s been impressive to watch the bird couple delivering round-the-clock take-out.  Somebody told us they barely eat while they’re raising their babies.  Probably don’t sleep, either.  They were having an intense argument on the balcony rail this morning … wonder why?

So yeah, the babies.  We were kinda wondering when they might be big enough to leave the nest — and then we saw one standing on a windowsill and pecking at the window.  Holy cow, he was HUGE.  But they’re still hanging around home, we can hear them.  And their parents are still feeding them, worm by worm.  The little shirkers!  They need to convert all that worm pate’ into lift and get on with their lives.

Because shit!  I mean holy shiites, Batman, it’s unreal.  It’s everywhere!  Trailing down the brick, splattered all over the deck, piled on the railing, splotching up the chair cushions, frosting all the herbs and flowers.  I’m out of adverbs, but it’s disgusting, unhealthy, and nasty to the max.  And there’s not one thing we can do about it unless we want to be monsters.  In light of which I’ve pictured myself getting a ladder, reaching into the nest, grabbing the first little cheeper I see, and teaching him to fly.  From four stories up.

So as I was saying, not a thing we can do.  Mr. & Mrs. Bird clearly tabbed us as gentle souls on their first pass and it was over before it started.  They’ve won this one, but rounds two and beyond are ours.  Except that I think I heard more birds on the north end of the gap this morning.

Well, shit.



4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sammy D.
    May 28, 2014 @ 07:14:31

    We’ve certainly had our run-in’s with critters trying to make our home theirs, but none told as funny as you’ve written yours!



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