Things – they happen. The heat. The rude surprises. The unbelievable and the bizarre. The days and nights when the dank Hound of Funk sits on your chest and won’t move. Things – they deteriorate in a heartbeat and leave you with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth and your brain encased in glue.
This space has been mostly shuttered for the summer due to the above, not on purpose, it’s just worked out that way one steamy day at a time. I sit here to write, while anything and everything happens but that. For some reason, Facebook and Twitter have to be monitored incessantly, even though they’re primarily what empower the big ugly dog to bring me down. And once the smelly old Funkmeister makes himself at home it’s all about staring out the window with a throat full of tears, marking time until Happy Hour.
Last week something clicked on the inside of me and I was all at once disgusted with myself for being passive and discouraged and lowdown blue over feeling helpless, which made me mad, which ignited some good energy, which scared the Dog, which made me laugh, and I haven’t had to swallow any tears since, nor has the Funk Dog come slinking back. That’s what we’re calling progress around here in lieu of light at the end of the tunnel until we get some.
A friend this morning posted “8 Warning Signs That You’re Mentally and Emotionally Exhausted:”
- You Lack Motivation
- You’re Easily Irritated
- You Can’t Sleep
- You’re Having Anxiety Attacks
- Small Things Upset You
- You Feel An Urge To Cry
- You Feel Dizzy And Nauseated
- You Feel Detached
I was there on six of them and I have a feeling we could ALL benefit from a stretch of R&R right now. The world’s an unholy mess, that’s a fact. But here we are, against the odds. It’s summer — time to read, have a cold brew or two or a few, enjoy the sun and the water, and love on our babies of every age, size, and description. I’m only one small person – in the end maybe my answer is to better the space I’m in and to do no harm. So okay then, joy to the world and happy sunshine, and I mean that sincerely. We can work this out.
Playing for Time 
Jul 15, 2018 @ 09:35:15
We all have ‘black-dog’ days. but they are outweighed by the sunshine times so worry not; we are all allowed to wallow in glorious mud from time to time.
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Jul 15, 2018 @ 15:07:18
Yes, and I do SO enjoy my wallowing, or at least gain a little lopsided comfort from it. It’s too hot for much else – indulging in a good sulk while no one but Kim has to tolerate me just sort of happens by default. By now it’s mostly tongue-in-cheek, of course, and everyone’s spared the tedium, thank goodness. I hope things are lovely where you are, my friend.
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Jul 09, 2018 @ 18:33:19
Love you, my girl! I love dogs, but not the hound that tries to sit on your chest. It’s overwhelming to think all those thoughts at once, and yet, at one time or another, we all seem to do it. But your are right. We have to choose to make the spaces around us better. And the reading, partaking of the drink, sunshine, and love…it’s the stuff that gets us through.
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Jul 09, 2018 @ 20:38:30
I feel everything too much and it takes a toll. But the good stuff does get us through and I’m very intentionally focusing on those things, you and your family being a perfect example. Love you always.
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